RICHARD BLACKBURN
October 16, 2009

If four-wheel-drives weren’t politically incorrect enough, a Russian car maker is offering one with whale penis leather trim. By RICHARD BLACKBURN.

A Russian armoured-car builder is boasting that its latest vehicle has seats covered with “whale-penis leather”.

The €1 million ($1.6 million) Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armoured car has been developed by the same company, RussoBaltique, that built armoured vehicles for Tsar Nicholas, Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky.

On its official website, the company says the whale-penis leather is the same as that used by Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis on the yacht Christina O.

Onassis is rumoured to have had some of the barstools on the yacht, the world’s most expensive at the time, covered in the controversial leather.

The leather is not the only tacky accessory on the Prombron, which Dartz claims is the world’s most expensive SUV.

The bulletproof windows are gold-plated, the exhaust is made of tungsten, the gauges are encrusted with diamonds and rubies and the exterior has a Kevlar coating.

The car also comes with three bottles of the world’s most expensive Vodka, RussoBaltique, although the website does warn prospective buyers not to drink and drive.

The vehicle is being specially prepared for the ultra-exclusive Top Marques luxury motor show in Monaco next year.

Dartz’s armoured vehicles weigh roughly 4 tonnes, are powered by V8s putting out between 300kW and 400kW and are “rocket grenade-proof” according to the website.

For those wondering just how may whales may need to be harvested to outfit the special edition, the answer is not many. The penis of the Blue Whale, for example, can grow up to 2.4 metres.

When driving off road, it is important not to place your thumbs on the inside of the steering wheel. When driving over any large ruts or potholes, the wheel could suddenly turn. This may result in the thumb being bruised or even dislocated if it is left inside the rim. Remembering to leave your thumbs on the outside of the steering wheel is a very easy skill to acquire and should become second nature to you. With power steering fitted to most 4�4's these days, this technique is not as critical as the power steering unit dampens out sudden steering wheel movements as well as steering stabilizers. Owners of non-power steering vehicles will have undoubtedly experienced at some time the force at which the steering wheel turns when hitting an obstruction.